Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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