It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is it because I queefed?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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