holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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