I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
