I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No subtext here. People are naked.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
