it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
