kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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