I have demons in me.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize