Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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