this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
