And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
