I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
