I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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