Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
