you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
