ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Holy sore nipples Batman
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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