Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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