So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
