Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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