No stitches, just platelets and will power
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
