**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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