i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
