dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
