So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
