Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
