something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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