He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
