Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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