I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
