When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
