Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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