You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
