You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I need water and some morals
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
