She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize