You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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