You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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