Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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