Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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