youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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