I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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