when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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