how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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