ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
