We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You're a waste of cheezeits
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
