He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
