are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
