he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
