3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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