Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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