i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My feet surprised me
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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