She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
