people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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