so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
