If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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