Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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