I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Come on in and take your pants off
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