There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
