im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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