did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
accomplished twins. life is a go
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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