Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
